Frikin' JJ!

I hate JJ Abrahams like I hate the new Best Buy that's gonna open 3 minutes from my house - I'm in. No question I'm there. And I love what they bring me, but dammit if they don't cause me pain and cost me a little something!

For the moment, I'm speaking, of course, of Lost. That damn show that I must watch, week in, week out. It's great. Great acting. Great characters. Great story! But again - the pain! Every freakin' week, I'm left on edge. Every week? How about every commercial break? And even when they give you something, throw you a bone, you shortly (if not simultaneously) find out that there's some sort of string attached. And of course, you're compelled to follow the string to another bone.

This blows.

House is good and they don't do this to me. Battlestar Galactica has all sorts of intrigue, but they're cooler about it. I watch those shows, and I'm really interested, but there's a sort of satisfaction. Some kind of contentment. The large story arcs are moving, and the situation for the episode is mostly resolved. Nice. Happy. Ahhhhh....

But oh no - not JJ! After every one of his shows, I'm all freaked out and I feel like I need to sit down with some sort of big board, trying to sort out leads and make some sort of guess as to what might be coming. At least Alias isn't on this week. And now at least it's on a different night, but c'mon! "My names's not Vaughn??" What kinda $@%# is that?

And now there's Invasion. Not a JJ show, but all I have to say is -- after Walt, Dakota Fanning, and the kid on Invasion, I'm not having kids. The potential for them to freak you out is waaaay to high: "Mommy, you smell different."

Aaaaahhhh!!!

Just Around the Corner

One million, two-hundred-nine thousand, six hundred seconds. How do you measure two weeks in the life? How about Loooove? For the NHL, that is.



That's right, kiddies - as of 4pm the new NHL season is only two weeks away! YEAH!!!

You may now return to your indifference.

Land Ho!

Avast maties! For 364 days a year, we scurvy scum arrrr feared and chased to the very ends o' the seven seas, but not on Septmeber 19. But today be the day we lilly-livered sea dogs get arrrr due! Today we raise the Jolley Roger, see to the mizzen mast, and sail proudly into any port we please!



Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! So use the long "Arrrrrr" whenever ye can, drink yerself some rum, and get yer booty off the poop deck before we make ye walk the plank and pay a visit to Davey Jone's locker.

A Post Only Chang Will Truly Enjoy

Saturday was Hockey Day in LA, and let me tell you, I had a heck of a morning! As it was the first day that Kings tickets went officially on sale to the public, the Kings had a few activities planned for fans that wanted to come down to Staples and celebrate the return of the NHL.


I got there pretty early (especially for me) and spent 2 hours in line waiting for the festivities to begin. Made a coupla friends, talked some hockey, and at about 8:00, things got started. First, the Kings PR folks started handing out a few items, including a poster, a schedule, and a static sticker ("Kings Rule!"). About half-hour later, a few of the choice Kings personalities made their way down the line, meeting the faithful and welcoming them back. I got to speak to our play-by-play team, Bob Miller and former King Jim Fox and was able to get Fox's autograph!

By about 9, the ticket booths opened up, and as you walked up to the booth, there stood Kings GM and former winger Dave Taylor! You better beleive I got his autograph too. Then I got in line, busted out the wallet, and before I could put my camera away, I realized that several current Kings were helping to man the ticket booth, and who was standing in my window but future Hall of Fame LW Luc Robitalle! Luckily, I had my cousin's super-thin camera, and as I purchased tickets for a couple of early season games, I slipped the camera through the window and Luc was good enough to take a few shots for me. As he slipped the camera back, and I got my tickets, I got another envelope with a nice little thank you card from the organization, signed by Lucky himself!



So by 9:30, I met or was within 3 feet of several major team personalities and had tickets to 3 games in October - Opening night vs. the Coyotes, a week later vs. the Wings, and the first game vs. the hated Ducks. The day couldn't get much better. But the Kings felt inclined to try by opening up the team's morning practices free to the public. So after a few free donuts and some coffee, I headed inside Staples to see the guys on the ice.

I found my seat for opening night and spent the next hour watching the roster practice for the game later that night. I got to see a few of the new Kings (like Jeremy Roenick [top] and Pavol Demitra [bottom]) and rookies in action for the first time and all of the returning guys. Coach Andy Murray took a moment to thank the fans for coming and talked a little about our style for the coming season, and a bit later free agent acquisition Jeremy Roenick took the mike and told everyone how excited he was to be in LA. The guys seemed to enjoy temselves and I was pretty impressed by a few of the younger players. Our forwards are gonna be sick!

I left after pratice and headed home, some shwag in my pockets, a smile on my face, and unlike some other recent pre-seasons, seriously excited about our chances this year.

Yeah. Good day.

It was the best day...

So my alarm goes off at 10am Sunday. As usual, I walk blearlily toward my desk, cursing myself for leaving the alarm on while I could be sleeping blissfully until noon. But when I'm halfway on my way back to the warm and tender embrace of my bed, it hits me -- It's opening Sunday for the NFL!!!

By the time the remote's in my hand, I'm sitting at my computer looking up the day's schedule and all thoughts of sleep have vanished. And in their rooms come thronging soft and delicate thoughts, all prompting me how fair sweet football is.

Turn on the TV and who's on? My Miami Dolphins!! How perfect is that?? Sure, they're gonna get pounded by the Broncos, but... waaaait a minute! They win 34-10! Great way to start a Sunday! (Sorry Chang)

So then I kinda watch SD v Dallas (it seems SD is LA's team since the Raiders played Thursday), but my adrenaline rush has died down a bit so I'm sleepy again. Besides, I have to rest up for later that evening 'cause it's a time of year my cousin and I look forward to almost religiously: Endless Shrimp at Red Lobster!

We're seated at RL with his girlfriend by about 5:50 - 10 minutes before Colts v. Ravens. Again, just perfect. I take the chance and have some bread and salad before the Parade of Shrimp Death begins. My gamble pays off, because not only am I able to enjoy warm cheesy bread and the tangy sweetness of 1000 island dressing, but I'm able to single-handedly do my part to control what had been the dangerously swelling shrimp population.

While the Colts lay 3/4 of a beat down on the Ravens, my cousin and I lay waste to what must've been an entire school of shrimp, most of them of the scampi variety. By the time we're done, we've combined for 14 shrimp refills and are starting to feel the effects. I swear, my left eye had trouble staying focused and he was feeling a bit dizzy. Home in time for the 4th quarter, I nearly slipped into a shrimp coma, but Lisa was online and feelin' bad about her fantasy team. Commiserating with her was fun, especially as I had no such worries myself. (Yay!)

Her Indy D was impressive, but allowed a score in the final minute. I had hoped at the time that the score would do just enough damage to Lisa's D score to keep her from winning her fantasy game this week, thus revenging my loss from last year rather poetically. Alas, I fear my hopes may have been in vain. The only blight on an otherwise fun day.

Like Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance

Y'know, I used to keep track of companies that I thought were trying to take over the world. Since then, a few things've happened and the list sort of fell apart. For example:

**Disney has fallen. After riding high for a number of years, their animated releases have recently fallen flat, with increased competition and an apparent dearth of material. Combine that with over-expansion and the loss of some key assets, and Disney has lost some influence. The world is no longer in their grasp.

**Nike took a giant step back with the loss of Jordan. The man provided endless marketing fodder, even creating a full generation of kids who wanted to "Be Like Mike" while they "Just [Did] It", backing his shoes, and even going to see his movie. Nike had a single name and a set of images that had managed to creep insidiously into practically every home in America and into millions of homes around the world. Alas, he eventually moved from the spotlight and Nike has yet to find another name to play Vader to his Sidious. Sure Tiger's big, and I love the guy, and lots of kids are playing golf, but how many people are buying new Woods golf shoes at $150 a pop and getting them stolen at school? I know there was that one kid in Minnesota, but still….

**And people are generally more wary of Microsoft these days. Kinda hard to take over the world when everyone and their mother is watching, just waiting for you to even try it (even though the mother doesn't even know how to use Outlook). And now that Bill's so rich the word doesn't even apply anymore, they've gotten lazy over there. I mean, if you keep releasing patches, how many holes were in the boat when you set sail??

**Oh, and Starbucks seems to have hit a nice and level plateau. Maybe they ran out of street corners that weren't owned by McDonalds and couldn't keep expanding at the same alarming rate. The lesson here? Never plan a global conquest that involves real estate. If Risk wasn't lesson enough for you….

The failed bids of these companies let us all rest easy for a while, but they were never really replaced. Consequently, there's been something of a power vacuum. Until recently, that is.

Now, there's a new golden boy. Personally, I think they may just be the scariest entity to ever make the list: They're loved by almost all. They're harmless. They're so damned useful and cool. They're so universally known, they have a verb named after them!! Microsoft never had a verb! You don't go out and Disney! But if I tell you to Google something, you're all over it and there's a smile on your face.

Think about it.

Seriously.

This company is pervasive as all get out. They have their fingers in everything on the Web. It's their job. Fine. But now, they're on your desktop. They have your e-mail. Who knows what else they're up to? They now have access to satellite images, how long until they have actual satellites? If I Google a friend in 2 years, will they be able to show him as a moving G-Dot on a G-Map 'cause they're tracking him and his G-Phone?

G-whiz!

Come… to… think… of… it… they may be responsible for a certain friend's relationship!!!! I won't say who I'm talking about, but her name and his job…. Coincidence?!?!

Those devious bastards!!! I swear, if Annaka ever gets a job there, we're all royally screwed. Google's capabilities matched with Annaka's? One hyphenate: G-Net. I can just imagine the thick Austrian accent: "I'm feeling lucky." Or "Come with me if you want to search." (On a side note: Why does the thought of Annaka doing anything usually result in an apocalyptic scenario for me? And why doesn't it surprise me that it does?)

I better stop now before I say something that really gets me into trouble. And if you happen to be bored one day, and if you care, you might wanna Google me some time. If it sends you to a map of a local cemetery with an inverted red tear drop, just know -- I did what I could.

Freeeeeedoooooooommmm!!!!!!!!!