The Voice Inside

I've had a pretty busy movie season so far. Spiderman 3... The Simpsons... Transformers... Harry Potter... the list goes on. And while the movies themselves have been pretty hit or miss (mostly hits so far, actually), there's been one thing that consistently manages to bring me down:



I'm not a big fan of Forrest Whitaker, so maybe that colors this, but what the hell is with that spot?

Does it make sense to ANYONE else? Is the rally for cell phone silence? And why is the other guy (who's name escapes me) there? And why should I care about this nurse lady? She's walking down the street, goes through a park and she should turn off her cell phone? And why is there a horse??

Not that I disagree with the sentiment.

I think all movie theaters should be built with some way of dampening cell phone signals in mind. Could we all just switch them to Silent or Vibrate? Sure! But the idiot who doesn't is also the idiot who'd answer. And that's not counting those fools who set their phone to vibrate but answer the damn thing anyway.

I'd get into why I think people do it, or what I think should be done to people who talk during movies, but then I'd be moving off the point -- That is a stupid cell phone spot.

I think what bothers me most is the condescending tone to it. Like it's some kind of life lesson. "Listen to the voice inside you." "We can make a change." "I'm Forrest Whitaker. Look how passionate I am." What the hell does any of that have to do with cell phones and movies?

Anyway, that's been building up since May. And I'm sure it'll go on throughout the summer. I'm looking forward to the Bourne Ultimatum and Becoming Jane soon, so I'm expecting at least one more fist shaking incident by weekend's end.

Well...

I'm finished.



We need to set up some kinda e-mail string or floo network or somethin' to talk that out.

Hey, Bud!

Suck it up, be a man, and get your butt out to the ballpark to see Barry hit # 756.


If Hank doesn't wanna go... okay. I'll begrudgingly give him that. Part of me says he should be there too, seeing as how a guy's breaking your record. But then again, Barry ain't the nicest guy in baseball and there is suspicion out there, so you can forgive the guy if he wants to stay away.

But Bud, you're the f'ing commissioner. If you had wanted to catch Bonds or other users any time in, oh, the past 15 years, then you should have tested harder, or more often, or more randomly. But the fact is: you didn't. And as a result, players like McGuire and Giambi and Canseco hit home runs at a more than healthy enough clip to help bring baseball back after a strike.

So you looked the other way. You hoped no one would notice. And in doing so, you presided over this whole so-called "Steroid Era." And if a guy who never tested positive for anything is gonna break a record, then you should be there.

'Cause even if you can't stand him, he's gonna break the record.

And after all, he was playing by your rules.

Or lack thereof.