I Don't Think That Word Means What You Think It Means

Exhibit A
"Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence."


Exhibit B
for⋅tune [fawr-chuhn]
noun, verb, -tuned, -tun⋅ing. –noun

1.	position in life as determined by wealth: to make one's fortune.

2.	wealth or riches: to lose a small fortune in bad investments.

3.	great wealth; ample stock of money, property, and the like: to be worth a fortune.

4.	chance; luck: They each had the bad fortune to marry the wrong person.

5.	fortunes. things that happen or are to happen to a person in his or her life.

6.	fate; lot; destiny: whatever my fortune may be.

7.	(initial capital letter) chance personified, commonly regarded as a mythical being distributing arbitrarily or capriciously the lots of life: Perhaps Fortune will smile on our venture.

8.	good luck; success; prosperity: a family blessed by fortune.

Query: How does Exhibit A apply as any of the definitions of Exhibit B?

Response: I don't see how it does.




So stop putting that kinda crap in my FORTUNE COOKIE!!!!

Tell me an old friend will call me soon. Tell me I'll have the new work opportunity I've been hoping for. Hell, tell me my weekend will go better than I expected. I don't really care.

But quit putting in stupid crap in my cookies like the fact that my friends really like me (I know that, I'm awesome), or that I'm good at solving problems (didn't we just discuss my awesomeness?). Those aren't fortunes. Those are random positive statements. And I don't need to be boosted up - I'm eating a cookie! Consider that mission already accomplished! I got a cookie!


There. Now I feel better. Anybody want a peanut?

The Final 9

So it's the last season of Battlestar Galactica. Last 9 episodes, in fact.

Most of you who read this aren't entirely on board. It's sci-fi and that's not your bag. But again, and for the last time, seriously do yourself a favor and at some point, Netflix the miniseries.



It's about 3 hours long and it'll give you a good idea if you wanna try the rest of the series.

I'm telling you, it's one of the best dramas on television and it's about more than just robots and space fights.

At best, you finally get what you're missing. At worst, you get to bitch to me about how crappy it is. After all, give me the chance, and I'll go to town on Rent and the Sound of Music.

Holiday Tradition

Twilight

Let me start by saying I have never heard of these books nor have I seen the movie. However, it begs the question:


Why are there no happy vampires?



Okay, that ONE chick on the left seems okay, but still.


I mean, they're just people, right? Sure, they drink blood and can't hold down a day job, but hey, you live forever, have super-human abilities and can control people.

And if you make any cool friends - blammo - BFF has a whole new meaning (or it actually means what it says it means now)!

The only real downside are the vampire hunters and that's just a matter of Darwinism at work.



But nooooooooooo... it's all black leather and brooding unless you're in black leather and cackling with evil joy. And half of that just has to do with the fact that black leather is durable and goes with anything.



So vampires - cheer the f*** up. You have your whole lives ahead of you.