Apologies

Random thought:

So am I the only person in the world who thinks the whole apology process is ass backwards?

Just take a second and bear with me.

Let's say I run over your foot with my car:


You: OWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!
Me: Oh, dude! I'm SO sorry!
You: OWWWWWWW !!!!! MY FOOOT!
Me: Oh, my God! I dunno what happened! Lemme call 991 or something!
You: OWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!

Fast forward to the next morning when you're in bed with your foot in a cast or something:

Me: So how is it?
You: Well, I had my first surgery last night. And I've got a soft cast on. They're gonna take a look at it again in a few days and decide what they're gonna do from there. They said something about putting pins in.
Me: Like I said. I'm SO sorry. I have no idea what happened.
You: Well, it was an accident. Don't worry about it.
Me: Thanks. Well, I've got to go and meet some people at the park. Let me know if you need ANYTHING.

And while that's terribly condensed and I'm being kind of a punk, the example illustrates my point:
-Person A commits some kind of "offense"
-Person B is hurt
-Person A apologizes
-Person B has to forgive Person A or be branded a punk
-Person A, now forgiven, goes on to do whatever he wants
-Person B is left to deal with the aftermath


Now does that seem right to you?
Person A fucks up and then says "I'm sorry" and walks.
Person B is hurt and then has to forgive, and then is left holding the bag.


And let's not even get into empty apologies.


So, in that light, I would think that it makes more sense for it to work this way:
Person A (the offender) shouldn't generally offer an apology until he's been forgiven by Person B (the victim).

That way, Person B can take his time and offer an apology in his own time, and Person A is maybe left holding onto the feeling of responsibility until such time as Person B decides to left him off the hook. The whole situation lasts the same length for each person, and everyone is spared the empty apology / grudging forgiveness ordeal.



I mean, sure, you're still left with pins in your foot, but at least I'm left feeling a little worse about it for a while. If I'm gonna feel bad about it at all.